Oh No! People Are Falling Out Of My Network! (Communication: Part 5)


Charles McCrumb Small Business IT Project Analyst, Office Automation Expert Herbert, McCrumb & Associates
Charles McCrumb
Small Business IT Project Analyst, Office Automation Expert
Herbert, McCrumb & Associates

They guys at Manager-Tools.com and Career-Tools.com, in their podcast “Building a Network”, state that people will fall out of your network and that’s okay. I suggest that it’s somewhat stronger than that:

It’s REALLY IMPORTANT that people fall out of your network, and here’s why: Those that are falling out will NEVER call you for help, you can’t count on them to help you, and they can’t be relied on for anything other than a brief comment on their social media feed (again I mention an acquaintance with 2,485 “friends” on Facebook, I say “acquaintance” because it’s only a collection, and I’m only a tiny part of that collection, and not someone that he [the empirical “he”, could just as easily be “she”] wants to stay in touch with).

For example: Say for instance you have 1,000 people in your network (just to keep the math easy). If by chance you lose your job, how many can be RELIED UPON to help you? You have NO WAY OF KNOWING if the unreliable ones haven’t been filtered out over the past 2 years. There may only be 600 that are partial toward you and willing to help you, and the other 400 may only be tepid at best. If you need to hire some people, who are you going to call? The folks you know and trust always get the call before an agency.

The people in your network that YOU can help will tend to ENGAGE YOU in conversation, or at least acknowledge that you have attempted communication with them or reply to you. If after 2 years of you offering help quarterly, a person falls out of your network, manager-tools, & career-tools argue that they never WERE in your network of people that YOU can help. I agree.

I wish there was a faster way to find this out, but as my dad says “Them’s the breaks!”. Those people may attempt to contact you sometime later, but you certainly don’t OWE them anything. You may decide to put them back into regular communication, but it’s certainly up to you (and I would). If then, they stay in touch, keep them in your system and communicate, offering to help them. But if then, he or she resumes his or her bad habit of ill communication, and after 2 years falls out again. Oh well.

Cheers! 😎

Charles McCrumb
Small Business IT Project Analyst, Office Automation Expert
Herbert, McCrumb & Associates
We can make ANY business work BETTER!
Visit us at http://www.hm-associates.com
Like us on Facebook for instant updates on what Herbert, McCrumb & Associates is doing, how we’re doing it, and how we’re saving real people time and money!
http://www.facebook.com/HerbertMcCrumbAssociates
email: charles@hm-associates.com
Skype: charles.mccrumb
Bus: (626) 593-6700

Advertisements

Why You Should Attend Your Next High School Reunion


First of all, I’m not going to regale you with the baloney the reunion companies tend to pummel us with: “Everyone else there knows how old you are”, etc., etc., blah-blah, blah.

Simply put: We were STUPID KIDS then. In the meantime, life has beaten us up a bit and we’ve gotten smarter (hopefully!).

First Item: It’s important to have someone who knew you when you were a kid!
Personally speaking, my 30 year high school reunion was last weekend. Most of the people that were there, I saw at the 20 year reunion. Some of them hadn’t been to the 10 year or 20 year.

Example 1: One fellow that I spoke to, I had been to grade school with, (not middle/jr. high school), but high school. I knew him on sight (even though he lost hair), he knew me on sight (even though I am mostly gray). We NEVER had a single class together, from first grade through senior year. Almost IMPOSSIBLE? No. I’m sure it happens all the time in larger schools/populations.

In high school, I said “Hi Steve!” to him in the halls, and he said “Hi Charlie!” to me. We knew (and know) ALL of the same (grade school and high school) people. Two years ago, he and I both attended the funeral of our friend (an American hero). I didn’t see this man there, but he was there (told me about what happened, how I spoke at our friend’s open eulogy, and yes he was there).

When I shook his hand at the reunion, he said “Hi Charlie!”, just the same as 30+ years ago. He was (and is) one of the nicest guys!

Example 2: I re-met in person, a fellow I saw at the 20th, super-nice, keeping in touch on Facebook. He personally hugged me 4 times (speaking words of encouragement about my mother’s cancer). He works an indoor-outdoor trade, construction/landscaping and is always THINKING! One of the brightest and way more importantly, KINDEST people I have ever known.

Example 3: I re-met the homecoming queen. Her brother was in my mother’s cub scout den, and I have literally known her and her family for 40+ years.
She is the sweetest, most generous woman I re-met that night (a nurse at a children’s hospital).

Example 4: I re-met some folks that were really on the boundary of my active friends. Acquaintances, friends of my friends that I knew of, but didn’t actually KNOW. I hope to actively engage with them and become better acquainted too.

Second Item: It’s important to build your network (networking has too many negative connotations of schmoozing at the cocktail party, that people don’t like) and to STAY CONNECTED! Everyone thinks that they are well connected until they discover that they’re not. You are going to need these people someday. More importantly, they are going to need what YOU can contribute. That’s what being friends really means: What can I contribute to my friends? How can I help THEM?

Example 1: In a recent blog post Quid pro quo (You can’t play ping pong by yourself), Seth Godin writes about building trust. I’ll let you read the post and form your own opinion.

Example 2: How many people do you want to affect / effect? When you leave this life, how many people do you want to say “Dang! I really LIKED [your name goes here]! I WANT to go to [his/her] funeral. We don’t last forever. Make a big splash in the gene pool!

What ISN’T happening at the reunion:

  1. Jealousies: Too much time has passed for THAT baloney.
  2. One-upmanship. Again, success is measured differently, and most folks understand that.
  3. Strutting, OK there was a little of that, (and more of that as the alcohol was flowing), which was why I made it a point of NOT DRINKING at the reunion. You want to see people as they really are. Booze exaggerates that (whether you’re drinking or everyone else is). When people are drunk, they show who they really are (kind, loving, belligerent, angry, sad, etcetera, but exaggerated by the alcohol.

All in all, I had a great time catching up with old friends, and making some new ones. You will too!

I am sure that I can claim all of them as “Lifelong Friends”.

Cheers! 😎

Charles McCrumb, Office Automation Expert
Visit us at http://www.hm-associates.com
Like us on Facebook for instant updates on what Herbert, McCrumb & Associates is doing, how we’re doing it, and how we’re saving real people time and money!
http://www.facebook.com/HerbertMcCrumbAssociates
email: charles@hm-associates.com
Skype: charles.mccrumb
Bus: (626) 593-6700